Monday, June 18, 2012

Things I (Probably) Wouldn't Be Saying If I Had Kids Instead of Cats

Being a cat mom instead of a regular/"normal" mom, I have found myself saying things to my cats that I'm sure I'd never have to say to a young'un. Or would I?

- "Stop sniffing your sister's/brother's butt."

- "Stop biting your sister/brother on the neck. I don't think she/he likes it."

- "Hold still so I can pull this hair out of your butthole."

- "Why in the world would you want to eat a plastic bag in the first place?"

- "You can sit on my chest, but please turn around so I don't have to stare at your butthole."

- "No, you can't sit on my lap while I'm using the bathroom."

- "If you would chew your food, you probably wouldn't puke most of it back up on the living room carpet."

- "Stop beating on the door. You are not sleeping with us tonight."

- "Must you sit there and stare at me for hours at a time? Really?"

- "Stop eating my hair."

Oh, the life of a cat mom.