Let Me Talk...

Hi everybody. This is Blondie. No, I'm not one of the sisters. (Trust me, I did not pick out this name for myself.) I am Major's big brother. Well, not BIG brother really. He does weigh quite a bit more than I do. But, that's an issue for another day.

Anyway, I read what Major wrote the other day, and I thought he was nuts. Why would any self-respecting cat want to sit down at some monkey's computer, no offense MommyLady, and blog? Who came up with this blogging thing anyway? It's just nuts. I mean....wait, I'm off topic again.

So, I sat back and proceeded to make fun of my brother every chance I could. Until today. I heard the MommyLady and DaddyMan discussing something rather disturbing and decided I just have to put in my two-cents worth.

It seems they saw a news report this morning about this President Obama fella killing a fly during an interview. After this happened, some group called PETA sent up a bit of a fuss. Over a fly. A FLY!!!

OK, first off, get over it. Have you ever had one of those things buzz around you nonstop for hours at a time? It's annoying. It's beyond annoying. It really sucks.

Second, what are flies good for? Buzzing around and annoying you for hours at a time. Period.

Third, I can think of only one thing wrong with the president's actions. It was a waste of a good snack. I love flies. If you pick one up in your mouth and let it buzz for a few seconds before you swallow it, not only does it kind of tickle, but it really impresses your siblings. Major and my sisters Face and Eddie thought it was a really neat trick when I did it. Not to mention the reaction I got from the MommyLady and DaddyMan when I finally swallowed the annoying creature. I did not know it was possible for someone to gag like that without coughing up a hairball. That is so cool.

Well, that's my opinion, and you're very welcome to it. You may go back to what you were doing now. I think I hear something buzzing in the next room. I'm going hunting.

It's My Turn

Finally, I get my turn at this computer thing. This is Major...the handsome one among all these cats around here. I swear, if any more cats show up, I'm leaving. Well, maybe not leaving. But, I sure will be miffed. May even stop letting the MommyLady hold me on her lap so much.

The MommyLady and DaddyMan went out the door a few minutes ago, and I've decided to take this opportunity to set the record straight about a few things. I can't imagine why they go out that door so much. Every time I've gone out that door, after being shoved into a box mind you, I end up in a real horrible place where they set me up on this cold metal table and a mean lady in a white coat not only sticks me with needles, but worse...she puts some sort of stick up my butt. What kind of perverted thing is that to do to a cat? I give MommyLady the cold shoulder for at least an hour afterwards, but she still insists on taking me there. She just doesn't understand.

Anyway, what I want to set straight is all this talk I hear about these cats she has outside. I see them in the window once in a while. They just sit there and stare in. The girls, Eddie and Face, don't like that at all. They jump and hiss at the window, then at each other, which is all just a waste of time and energy. The problem is, MommyLady just keeps on feeding them. I don't understand that. If she would stop feeding them, they'd stop coming...and there would be more food for me.

Which brings me to another point; there can never be enough food. MommyLady has put us on this thing she calls a "diet." What confused human came up with this concept? Probably the same one that came up with the stick up the butt thing. I mean, who in the world thought it would be a good idea to limit the amount of food that is given to a cat? What bunk!!!!

Look, I'm working on getting the MommyLady to go back to the way it used to be, when our bowls were kept very full all day and night, but until then, let me tell y'all how it should be. Cats do not need diets. Cats need food. The bigger we are, the happier we are. Skinny cats? Miserable. They hate the way they look. Fat cats are much happier. Why we.....

...Oops, gotta go. I hear them at the door. Just remember: lots of food - GOOD! Sticks up the butt - VERY BAD!!!

Books, Books and More Books

I've been reading a lot lately, and I've noticed more than ever how my tastes run pretty much all over the place. I tend to read at least two books at a time, sometimes up to four, and they are rarely all the same type of book. I read biographies, mysteries, paranormal novels, science fiction....you name it, I've probably at least tried to read it.



One of my recent reads was William Shatner's autobiography Up Until Now. When I was a kid, I loved to watch Star Trek reruns. We moved a lot, and it seemed like everywhere we lived, one of the local channels played Star Trek. And then along came T.J. Hooker. Remember that one? I adored that show. Even wrote lyrics for the theme music. (No, I won't sing it for you.)


Now, Shatner has become a bit of a joke over the years. His biggest redeeming quality came along when he finally decided to jump on the bandwagon and start making fun of himself. Then came Boston Legal. He was pretty good in that. In this book...? Well,


This book is very disjointed and hard to trudge through. He bounces around, interrupts himself, and even gets some of his facts wrong (Dale Earhardt, Sr. is the one who died in a crash, not Dale Junior). A good bit of the time, I found my self asking "where the heck was the editor?"



I discovered this book about a month ago. It's the first in a series about a cat who suddenly finds he can not only read and understand English, but he can talk as well. Throw in a murder and you have the makings of an interesting story. It's not the most complicated plot, but it held my attention all the way through, and that's saying something.



I love Denis Leary's comedy. When he gets going, you just sit back and enjoy the ride. This book is just like that. As you ready, you can just about hear him. It's great. It's funny. It's thought-provoking. What more can you ask for?


And the thing about Denis Leary, who has an honorary Doctorate and can use that title now, is no matter who you are, you will find yourself agreeing with at least some of what he says. He makes sense, even when he's saying something that is actually aimed at people like you. I mean, no one is safe, not even himself. One thing I did notice though; he points out more than once how wonderful his wife is and how lucky he is to have her. She sure has him trained right. ;-)


Well, that's the latest ones I've read. Right now I'm reading Serena by Ron Rash...which if you like regional novels should be on your must-read list. It's the first book of his I've read and his main character gives me the heebie jeebies. **shudder**


I'm also reading Deadly Harvest by Heather Graham. It's the second book in one of her series, but one thing I like about her books is the fact that if you pick up the middle book like this, it stands alone enough that you'll be fine reading it. (Kay Hooper's are much the same.) I've just started this one, so I don't know for sure how good it's going to be. I'll just say "so far, so good."


I guess that's it. I'm always on the lookout for something interesting to read. If you have any ideas, pass them along.

Adopt-A-Shelter-Cat Month

June is National Adopt-A-Shelter-Cat Month, and you all know how I feel about cats. They are wonderful animals full of love and mischief. They make great companions, friends, bed-warmers. They are nothing if not honest and will let you know exactly how they feel about you, your friends and your family. They are full of personality.

So, if you are looking for a great companion, someone who will accept you as you are, then make you into just what they want you to be (just kidding - sort of), then head down to your local shelter and adopt a cat. (For those in my area, I am offering pet sitting discounts if you adopt.)

Now, that's not to say shelter dogs don't still need good homes, and please go to the local shelters if you are looking for a dog as well. (And remember, October is National-Adopt-A-Shelter-Dog Month.)